Smileeeeee :B

3. I'll always remember you.

Yes, im on the phone with you now.

Although this phone call, you made me cried, make my heart burn.

You dont know.

You asked me, if i'm happy now or before.

I said, before. You said, Of cos, because i have two.

You know my before means when i have you. right..

It's okay, this is my retribution too.. i know..

Heart broken into pieces.

I have no rights to say you too.

I choose to leave, because i love you alot.

I wanted you to find someone better.

You said yourself, you would go poly.

If you ask me, i'll say,

'' i would go ite. i would rather give my future up and study hard at ite , rather than losing you. going ite i could catch up with my studies if i put in effort. But losing you, i dont know how much effort i can put in to met you again. For you, i dont care anything. ''

Sometimes, words are better if it is left untold.

Let this sentence be untold.

2.It's just nobody looked at me the same way you did.

This blog, each and every pieces of letter typed by me is all my true feelings.
Things hasnt been going well this year.
Problems is coming after another year.
Sometimes, i ask myself , why? Why must these things came to me? Why must it be this year when i'm having my 'Ns' ?
Well, i guess, all this problems started all because of me.
It got nothing to do with this year 2011, or month.
It all started because of me. Since i started all these bullshits,
i have to end all these bullshits.
Prelims are coming soon. I have to have all pass in order to have my freedom.
Me, who always doesnt keep my own words. Promising myself again and again to study.
But i didnt. 2 weeks more before my prelims.
Is 14 days even enough? I dont care. I just going to put in all effort during these 2 weeks.
Im going to numb myself with studies.
Yes, books, revision notes, homeworks. All words.

So what happened today to me?
What made me woke up from this nightmare ?
It's when Zovian who left me, i thought i could make it without him since i already did for the past few months.
But as days goes, every morning waking up, missing him, couldnt accept the fact that im no longer his.
I still want to be his. But, i guess its impossible anymore. I started all the bullshits.
Nowdays, i feel like supporting him in whatever he do.
But, i have to control. I cant disturb him anymore.
And i mean, anymore.
Cheewei told me, miss seet told him that she's afraid that i find zovian again.
This sentence clearly showed how i reflect on others.
A person who destroy someone life.
I believe their teachers are meant for their own good.
I cant help anything. But to leave, i guess that's the only choice.
Cheewei replaced as my boyfriend.
But he didnt replace that person in my heart.
I dont want to see Zovian like this going on with me.
I dont want him to be mine.
I want to be in his second place.
When he needs help,i hope i could be the one.
But, will that ever happen despite on what i done ?
God, remove all my sins.
I wanna start a new life.

I want him to be happy.
With, or without me.
If he ever come back,
i promise, to give him the best.
My true heart shall tells you how serious am i.
God.

1. I must have done something right to deserve you in my life.

Hello people. Great start today. School bell rang, and i woke up. Just right 730 am sharp. Late. Considering if i should go back to school for half day or just give it a miss. But today lessons are boring. Went to sengkang polyclinic. I cant believe that i am so unlucky. They are having some problem causing everyone to wait for a long time. Saw abby. She didnt go school either. Mac breakfast with her. Consult doctor, and went home.
Met Emily after that, trained to compass and bused back to fernvale to meet Cheeeeewei <3
Guilty but happy to see him <3
He's my cutest sweetheart.